Day two fail

Ok so day two marked the end of my juice fast and I have to begin again today.  Yesterday was hard. Not really because of the juices,which were really nice. But I had a really long boring day at work and emotions kind of got in the way and I ended up eating a burrito. Which I regret because I know i didn't need it. I have done 17 days of juicing before and my motivation was sky high. My reasons for wanting to do it this time haven't changed,and aren't any less important than they were before but my motivation and willpower have really declined this time. I think I might have to make a motivation board or do some visualisation  to remind myself of why I want to do this and hopefully that will help. I am so annoyed at myself for being so weak when I know I can do this.

So,I'm drawing a line under the last two days and starting again. March 18th 2015 at 10st 13. I'm doubting my ability to do this and I think it's my doubt that will make me break,but let's hope it dorsnt

Day 2

So it is the morning of day 2 and even though I am up earlier than normal and would much rather be in bed than going to work,I don't feel quite as exhausted as I normally would so im taking that as a positive. I also don't feel as hungry as I thought I would this morning. I am trying not to take my first juice until around 10am so that they stretch over the day better but it is hard when I am in work from 8am and have a desk job where it is too easy to reach for things! Hoping I get through today ok and really hope the energy starts to pick up quickly!

Day 1

Well,day one is almost over and thank god for that! It was hard for me for a few reasons. I over ate all weekend so had lots of sugar withdrawal. I'm still recovering from a cold so don't feel 100 percent myself. I was really really bored in work today which just made it feel longer and harder than it had to be.

I had my four juices. Plus a little glass of leftover juice from when I prepped tomorrow's juices. I also used a hunger sos and had a small handful of raw cashews and half a banana. The cashews shouldn't really count as an sis but I felt very 'out of it' and weak and giddy which I don't usually get on juice cleanses so I figured it was better than a bar of chocolate or something. I'm not going to be beat myself up for that even though Jason would say not to have an sos for at least the first three days. I think I still did well.

I'm quite grumpy today,and tired,and very cold. I can't wait until I get a few days in and feel better!

Last Supper

So tomorrow is the big day. The beginning of my 28 days of Super Juice Me. I realise that only drinking juices for 28 days (with the exception of possible hunger sos' which are allowed on the plan eg a banana or half an avocado if I'm disproportionately hungry) isn't exactly the worst thing someone could do to themselves,but it is still a big deal! Eating is such a social thing and I'm such an emotional eater that not participating in that part of my life or 28 days is a big deal.

But I really want to complete it! Like I said before I have tried this twice before and gotten to day 12 and then day 17 but I really want to make the full 28 days! I have prepped my juices for tomorrow and I spent today eating like a pig. I will tell you that in the run up to any juice fast/cleanse/whatever you want to call it,you should really ease yourself into it by laying off processed foods,salts,fats,sugars etc so that your  withdrawal period is a lot easier. I have yet to take this advice myself and panic eat chocolate and crisps etc which I admit makes the first few days a bit harder-I am my own worst enemy!

My mood has been so crap lately and my energy levels are non existent so I know that I need the juicing back in my life. I weighed myself and I am 10st 12 (152 lbs). I have gained half a stone in the past month or so because of complete binge eating. I really want to get down to 9st 12 by the end of the 28 days (my overall goal weight is 8st 7). I'm a bit of a slave to the scale in that it really affects my mood depending on whether I like the number on it or not. I'm debating how often to weigh during the 28 days. I see some people weigh everyday when they do things like this,but I feel like that's a bit much for me.on the other side of the spectrum, some people only way on the first day and last day,but I think I need the motivation of seeing my progress. I think I will weigh each Monday,but that might change depending on my mood!

So juices are prepped.luckily my first drink is one of my favourites (it is called Protein Powerhouse). I really enjoy the 'thickies' on Jason Vales plans (juices with banana or avocado blended into them). The 'thinnies' are also nice but they don't hit the spot the same so I don't find them quite as exciting.

Anyway,I'm off to eat some chocolate (I wish I was joking but I have yet to become one of those people who really enjoys whole natural healthy food). I watch a lot of food and health related documentaries when I do juice cleanses (as recommended by Jason Vale). One of my favourites is a documentary called Food Matters but I am going to try one called Marketing Madness which is about the drug market and mental health.

Exercise

I've never been great at sticking to an exercise regime. Ive joined the gym plenty of times but spending the money didn't force me to go. I have lots of exercise DVDs-I think I get it into my head that adding something to my Amazon basket will get me the results without any legwork! 

I started doing couch to 10k and only had a few weeks left but then the weather was snowy and icy over Christmas and I was scared to run. Those two weeks off turned into three months and now I will have to go way back to near the beginning when I eventually get round to it. I bought loads of cute running clothes and was really getting into it and it was helping to clear my head,but yet I didn't stick to it.

Cassey Ho is my favourite online fitness blogger. She created Blogilates and she puts together free monthly workout calendars which I can get sent straight to my iPad. I see results quickly with Pilates and enjoy her workouts even though they are difficult. But yet I didn't stick to it.

I started taking my dog out on long 8-10 mile walks whilst listening to Jillian Michaels  podcasts and I felt so refreshed and it was great. But yet I didn't stick to it.

See a trend emerging? I know that I need juicing and exercise in my life to help my physical and mental health as well as to get me to my goal weight. I have been obsessed with my weight for 10 years,it has wrecked my esteem and caused relationship problems because I let it take over.i don't want to spend the next ten years going round in the same vicious circle. I know what I need to do but I just don't seem to stick to anything. I wouldn't put diesel in my petrol car,so why am I not putting the right fuel in my own body? I wouldn't dream of not getting my dog exercised regularly,yet I am happy to be sedentary myself. My body is my home for life,it is time I took care of it inside and out.

I just wish I found it easier to do that. I guess it is a constant learning curve and even the girls on Instagram with beautiful bodies, perfect hair and skin,gorgeous workout clothes and perfectly clean meals had to start somewhere.

Comparing myself to others (or rather comparing my apparent lack of xyz with their apparent abundance) is not going to get me anywhere. I need to not compare my chapter one with someone else's chapter 20. We are all at different stages and we can all be winners. I just have to remember that.

Binges

I used to have real problems with binging and having dabbled with juicing I really seemed to have cracked the binging cycle. Lately I seem to have slipped back though. Ive had a cold for the past week or so and healthy foods and juices are the last thing I feel like (the irony isn't lost on me that these are the very things that would help my body most!)

Ive been stuffing chocolate crisps and junk into my face,even when I haven't been remotely hungry in some desperate attempt to fill a hole that I seem to have inside me. When I'm being rational and logical I realise that I can't fill an emotional hole with food,especially not junk food that doesn't feed my body but all logic goes out the window when I'm in the middle of a binge.

I'm hoping to reset my system with my cleanse and be able to listen to my body and see what it needs and understand when I am full. Binges are semi-enjoyable for about thirty seconds but the stuffed feeling, dehydration, lethargy and guilt that comes afterwards is just horrible.

By the way...

I realise the lay out of this 'blog' is incredibly basic.i have no interest in being a 'blogger' and will leave that to the professionals. I really just want to document my journey and if anyone happens to stumble upon it and gets some use from it then that's great :-). I know when I tried doing the cleanses before I would Google like crazy to try and find others who had documented their journey so I could see what to expect and find someone to relate to. I couldn't find too many out there though I did find a few which helped me.

I may write lots of little short posts on some days (especially if I am struggling I imagine!) or I might do fewer but longer posts. There really will be no rhyme or reason to it,my main aim is to write things down so that I can see the whole 28 days through,and if it helps anyone on top of that then great!